Ping Pong RastaFriday, March 27, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Saturday Afternoon
We left our bags at the entrance cubbies with Howie and Leanne, hopped into the Anaconda, fastened our seatbelts and anxiously awaited to experience the mountain of the largest nation in the world. Ok, everyone get a step, and a few sets of weights the instructor said ever-so-perkily into the microphone.
Click Click Click, we moved away into dark tunnel, slowly as it built up tempo. Now that we've done a bit of basic step, I think we are ready to get started. The Anaconda was not made of wood, but it creaked like Mick, or any old rocker for that matter really. Alright, here it comes, we are going through the whole combination in 5, 4, 3, 2...the next second was the slowest yet the fastest, the beast jetted forward ferociously in a downwards spiral, followed by a few corkscrews...Thrrrree touch steps followed by one left star step, and one right star step! It felt like riding on a rampid, Mlb-juiced boaconstictor about to devour the caiman it hungered for, as well as anything else in its way...Feel the BURN! And pulse, pulse, pulse, pulse, coil around, pulse, pulse, pulse, squeeze it hard, then hollllllld and re-lease. 1. ahuh ahuh ahuh. We were out of breath and could not believe there was no height limit on that baby. Excellent. Now lay down n your mats, curl your legs into your chest and relax. Well, I guess its time to call it a day and get some funnel cake.
Click Click Click, we moved away into dark tunnel, slowly as it built up tempo. Now that we've done a bit of basic step, I think we are ready to get started. The Anaconda was not made of wood, but it creaked like Mick, or any old rocker for that matter really. Alright, here it comes, we are going through the whole combination in 5, 4, 3, 2...the next second was the slowest yet the fastest, the beast jetted forward ferociously in a downwards spiral, followed by a few corkscrews...Thrrrree touch steps followed by one left star step, and one right star step! It felt like riding on a rampid, Mlb-juiced boaconstictor about to devour the caiman it hungered for, as well as anything else in its way...Feel the BURN! And pulse, pulse, pulse, pulse, coil around, pulse, pulse, pulse, squeeze it hard, then hollllllld and re-lease. 1. ahuh ahuh ahuh. We were out of breath and could not believe there was no height limit on that baby. Excellent. Now lay down n your mats, curl your legs into your chest and relax. Well, I guess its time to call it a day and get some funnel cake.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
MY SPOON
AsI hurriedly ate my strawberry yogurt out on the big rock, I though to myself, (yes, in a rather Carrie Bradshaw opens her ibook kind of way) , "why is it that some people have it all, yet other people have not it all." Really troublesome. I tossed the yogury container into the waves beating against the big rock and ran, with my Beatrix Potter collectible pewter spoon shining brightly in the sun (but slightly smudged due to having previously used it to eat yougurt) and went to a place that I had always known, but never truly knew.
It was five o'clock and the exterior of Franklin mall was quite deserted for a friday night. Can you believe desserts is stressed backwards! coicindence...I think not..desserts make you stressed. You think that when you sit down on your comfy velour chesterfield with a nice big bowl of Ben & Jerries the stress is trickling out of your system like the tears trickling out of a proud fathers eyes.Wrong. The typical array of shoppers was present. George Psirakis sat at the Auntie Anne's stand, even though it can be presumed one would stand at a stand when given the opportunity, George Psirakis, was not. Sporting a backwards, upside down, A &A velour cordorouy hat paired with green knickers (with a maroon plastic spoon in the back pocket of course) he was quite possibly the best cross-country skiier on the entire Auntie Anne staff. His determined pre-mature forehead wrinkle screamed, " I want to make my own country, and I want it all, the wailing wall,a roulette ball , and puppy chow." I strolled past the Auntie Anne's, despite my desire for pepperoni pretzel, as I was at the mall for a reason and until I had taken care of my business, there would be no tomfoolery. I was taken aback by the display at Victoria's Secret. The womannequin (a woman needs a man like an implala needs a refrigerator magnet, I always say!) was wearing vibrant carnaval-esque lime green, shimmmery lingerie. Totally Rio... out of the cornea of my corner I noticed the discreet pockets on each hip...bodaciously functional...I recognized that the pocket on my right (her left) was occupied by an item...of cutlery!..Bubble gum pink...around five see em...Definately no longer than your lateral-most digit...."Bye Golly!" I said as saw my neighbor, Golly F. Branson exiting the undergarment establishment.
It was five o'clock and the exterior of Franklin mall was quite deserted for a friday night. Can you believe desserts is stressed backwards! coicindence...I think not..desserts make you stressed. You think that when you sit down on your comfy velour chesterfield with a nice big bowl of Ben & Jerries the stress is trickling out of your system like the tears trickling out of a proud fathers eyes.Wrong. The typical array of shoppers was present. George Psirakis sat at the Auntie Anne's stand, even though it can be presumed one would stand at a stand when given the opportunity, George Psirakis, was not. Sporting a backwards, upside down, A &A velour cordorouy hat paired with green knickers (with a maroon plastic spoon in the back pocket of course) he was quite possibly the best cross-country skiier on the entire Auntie Anne staff. His determined pre-mature forehead wrinkle screamed, " I want to make my own country, and I want it all, the wailing wall,a roulette ball , and puppy chow." I strolled past the Auntie Anne's, despite my desire for pepperoni pretzel, as I was at the mall for a reason and until I had taken care of my business, there would be no tomfoolery. I was taken aback by the display at Victoria's Secret. The womannequin (a woman needs a man like an implala needs a refrigerator magnet, I always say!) was wearing vibrant carnaval-esque lime green, shimmmery lingerie. Totally Rio... out of the cornea of my corner I noticed the discreet pockets on each hip...bodaciously functional...I recognized that the pocket on my right (her left) was occupied by an item...of cutlery!..Bubble gum pink...around five see em...Definately no longer than your lateral-most digit...."Bye Golly!" I said as saw my neighbor, Golly F. Branson exiting the undergarment establishment.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Saskatoon
*Disclaimer*: there will be typos, I just got bored and did not feel like reading this over.What is the largest instrument in the oboe fam you ask?
I'll tell ya, its the contrabassoon!
Wheres the best place to find pokey sticks?
Obvi, a billiard salloon!
And what's that? you want to know the hip hoppinest locay this side of the atlantic?
Most definately its SASKATOOOOOOOOOON!!
A not very, but slightly credible online dictionary defines Saskatoon as the following:
"a city in central Saskatchewan; the largest city in the province
edible purple or red berries"
Ok, so being the hot pocket that I am, I am going to tell you all the top TEN reasons to visit this booming central canadian metropolis.
10. Sweet Peeps (and not only at easter)
Its the hometown of David Sutcliffe (Rory's dad), Yann Martel (Life of Pi author),Kaare Andrews (comic book illustrator...hopefully his name is pronounced the care bear way)Joni Mitchell and a lot of hockey players. yeah its happenin. and I almost forgot, they have like LOADS of 1st nations (beating Win and rejayjay). No 2nd nations cause sask is too classy for that.
9. Vesna Festival
Are you Azerbaijanian, Swedish an avid mandolin player or a Matthew LeBlanc fan ? If yes, you'll love the Vesna Festival! If no, stop lying to yourself because everyone fits into one of those categories (with the obvi exception of rojo, who may never be considered human, as she is a god).
Long story short: dance groups, bands and choirs, special coffees from the old country, need I say more.... 22nd Street East, May.
8. The Elbo Room
Saskatoon was originally a dry city and no alcohol was to be served within its boundaries. However, in 1899, the first bar received a license to operate within the city proper.
Sically, the best..
Sports Bar : Champs/ Chumps
Campus Bar: Louis' (Yay U of S!)
Kind of More Upscale: Odeon on 2nd Ave
7. Cranberry Flats
Sand-based conservation area. Have you ever wanted to go to a beached whale minus the -ed whale?
Boiled down to eight syllables: wheelchair accesibility
For cerealy, whats not to like...
6. University of Saskatchewan Amati Quartet
Highlight : violinist Evan Barber
Facebook status: Friendable
5. Calories Restaurant
Seriously, whoever said wedding cakes were for weddings was clearly out of their ballpark. Calories has a Broadway Street's favorite french bistro since before A Different World rocked my daytime world. Anyways, best bakery EVER! Seriously, if you are short for time, go to saskatoon, get a wedding cake at this more-baller than cannabis joint, eat the cake, leave. excellence.
4. Delta Bessborough Hotel Saskatoon
Possibly the finest hotel in all the sask. Beautiful views. Its no surprise that locals call it the Bes, cause its simply the bes. Also, one of the prime places in the city to get your toon on. Because, one would think, a city with toon in it would you know have some good toons, musical or illustrated. Also, the ballroom is quite classy so if you care to have a shindig or you know just chilll.
3. Shakespeare on the Saskatechewan
"Hi I'd like old english bard on some toasted canadian province". Yup the title of ths shakeseare festival sounds a bit like your ordering a sandwich at a deli while under the influence of a recreational substance, but in fact is in reality it is a large tent erected on the banks of the river where you can have a true central-canadian shakesperience.
IMPORTANT: I know what your thinking, heck, it seems perfect , but do NOT fall into this tourist trap. As much as it seems that the Shakespeare on Saskatechewan would be quite possibly the most optimal event to attend as with all the shakin goin on youd be totally warmed up for Bubble wrap appreciation day, however the fest is in the summer and sadly BAD is in January so yeah I guess that is the disadvantage that pushes this baby to number 3.
2. Wanuskewin Heritage Park
Have you ever wanted to sit, eat a carrot, memorize the digits of pi, learn to speak piglatin, hold a corporate meeting, play tetris at the intermediate level, notice the similarities in the flags of chile and texas, sharpen a harpoon, read about tradicional polish footwear or take part in an intense game of Texas Hold'em in a tipi? At Wanuskewin (like I said before, this prov is first in first nations) you can do just that and more! You can also learn about tradicional medicine and spirituality from elders. If you don't come out of there 7% wiser, go throw yourself in front of a boilin geyser.
1. Chill over a bridge
Saskatoon is called the Paris of the Prairies. It has many bridges over the South Saskatechewan River, the best, in my ohpin is the Broadway. However, if you define frozen as troubled then yes, this scene may be a bit too Simon and Garfunkely for you, if not relaxatoon and enjoy the SASKATOON!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
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